Your Thoughts

From far away, where things are the same, where the fight is the same I have to say thank you for your efforts. You gave me new energy to go ahead with our calm revolution to reach the normality.
Thank you, Gracias, from your soul friend!

I happened to come across your excellent documentary on Channel 13 in New York a couple of nights ago and felt compelled to write. I attended high school in the late 80s/early 90s in Titusville, PA, which you mention briefly in your film. While I am not gay myself, because I had very short hair and dressed differently than the other girls in my class (I had moved from a much more progressive school outside of Philadelphia), I was harassed and intimidated on a daily basis. I was called a “fag,” “lesbo,” “homo,” “dyke,” and “ugly”; I had gum thrown in my hair, and I was tripped and pushed in the halls. Of course, I was too scared and embarrassed to tell anyone, nor did I think the administration would do anything if I did—homophobia and bullying seemed to be par for the course. I also know for a fact that other students who were suspected of being gay (no one was out in those days) were treated similarly, if not worse. One even attempted suicide, which I know is all too common among gay teens.

It saddens me to see that this culture of intolerance and intimidation still prevails in Western PA, but I’m so grateful that films like yours and brave people like C.J., Timothy Dahle, and their families are helping to change that. Thank you for sharing such an important story.

I am 70 years old and figured out that I was gay or queer as the called it in those days at 8 years old but kept it to myself but it became necessary to defend myself in junior high and when I got called queer. I was a big kid and one hell of a fighter and defended myself anytime anyone called me queer all the way through high school and eventually grew up to be 6’ 8”. I never admitted to except a couple of people I was queer and when I played on the high school basketball team even though I was one of the best players and played center the coach still discriminated and kept my quarters down as much as he could and still win games; he just did not want a hero that was queer but the fans loved me. In the summers after I was 12 I worked in the woods in southern Missouri logging till I graduated from high school with the realization that it was not a good way to have a happy and long life after seeing two people killed on the job.
  I was living in the Southern Baptist south and they just did not like my attitude even though I regularly attended church and sang in the choir. Had some fun with some of the choir boys.
  My partner of 40 years live in upstate NY and harvest our own fire wood with chainsaws and ATV’s. Both or us are Vietnam era veterans an we have lived in the country most of the time except for 12 years we lived in San Francisco and have had to defend out property with the force of arms on a couple of occasions so we both know about discrimination.
  Hope to see your movie we heard about it on the GAY NEWS with Andy Humm but we have only satellite feed for TV & Computer
Marvin

This film is so wonderful and I love CJ and his Mom and the girls and the pastor and everyone (except Diane, of course) for letting the two of you into their lives - so we could experience this sad and unnecessary ignorance.  And SO balanced and not hysterical, in style and approach. Anyone who grew up in small towns like this (like me) and live and wait and grow JUST TO GET OUT .. knows what this feels like.  But you BRILLIANTLY found the way home ... CHANGE .. so that we might stay and contribute to the places we grew up in and loved don’t chase us away, for something as silly (in the 21st Century) as hate and intolerance.  I’m moved to tears and I hope to visit OIL CITY some day and go to the LATONIA and see that chandelier and meet CJ’s Mom - who “I” think is a real HERO and very charming ... thrown into a situation she never could have imagined herself in.  CJ - It’s all about MOM!  xo Most Sincerely

I grew up in Western PA, not far from Oil City, in the ‘50s and ‘60s. It’s sad that not much seems to have changed since I grew up. The Christian right is much more active in it’s opposition to LGBT equality than it was when I lived in the area. Still, I vividly remember the frequent condemnations of our Pastor of homosexuals. In an ironic twist of fate, it turned out that his own son was gay, and a friend of mine—we grew up together in the church. Tragically, when his sexual orientation was revealed to his parents without his permission, he was unable to accept who he was and who his church and family expected him to be. He committed suicide. I can’t begin to describe how that event shaped my life and that of the small town in which we lived.

Fortunately, although the film mentions that C.J. considered suicide, with the support of his family and friends, he was able to accept who he was and be appreciated for who he was. He is so lucky. I applaud his, his family, and his friends and community for their courage to not hide or run away from the obstacles they faced. The film is so important, and deserves to be widely seen. I applaud everyone who had a part in it’s making. And a particular thanks to C.J. and his mother.

Many Christian fundamentalists quote the Bible in controversies involving gays and lesbians.  I offer the following statement -  after conferring with a number of clergy, being inspired by Bishop John Shelby Spong and other prominent religious advocates, exposure to Process Theology, exposure to the subject: Historical Jesus, and learning that mainline theological schools offer the concept of the Bible being a record of man’s search for God, vs. God’s words:

Scholars in colleges and universities have studied the intricacies, the wonders and the mysteries of human sexuality over many, many decades.  There is still much more to learn.  I feel that parts of the Bible reflect the cultural attitudes that existed 2,000 years ago, which included beliefs that the world was flat, unequal attitudes about women, slavery, and homophobia.

I urge people to reconcile their religious beliefs with the reality that people do not choose their sexual orientation.  

I just finished watching this movie on MPT here in D.C., happened upon it by accident, as I seldom watch television, though I pay for satellite. When I saw the title, I stopped what I was doing, and sat down to find out if this indeed was what I thought it was about. To my surprise and excitement, it was.

I was touched on many levels by this well produced, honest documentary and story, of CJ Springer, his mother, Dean and Joseph’s story, as well as all of the others stories that comprised this film. Without rambling on and on, This is a must see for others. The message is positive, and I believe that the steps that those involved took to bring justice, sensitivity, recognition and acceptance of the rights of Same Gender Affectionate people, were real, intentional, and with the tenacity that one needs, to stop the discrimination that those involved were experiencing, and at least provide a growing environment of sensitivity for all.

Thank You for bringing this film to us. My night has been enhanced!

Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments Karly.  Please let your friends know that we’re going to have a series of screening events in small towns across Oregon this November in collaboration with Basic Rights Oregon and the Rural Organizing Project.  We’re hoping to spread the message of OUT IN THE SILENCE to rural communities across the country.

I am not a gay person but when I was 12 years old my mother came out to me as a Lesbian. The year was 1992, we were living in a very small town in Oregon and the reason my mom was coming out to me was because the state was trying to pass an anti-gay rights bill called Measure 9.  She wanted me to understand the importance of gay rights and that it affected us directly. Even though I was only 12 and didn’t understand sexuality let alone homosexuality, I did understand that I had to stand up for my mom. There was never any question in my mind that what my mom was doing was ‘wrong’, she was my mom and I loved her, and that was all that mattered

This movie has touched a cord in my heart that I haven’t felt since those early days of living in fear in my small home-town. Roxanne and Linda remind me so much of my own mother who owned a small local business with her partner in our home town and who also faced bigotry and boycotting simply because of her sexual preference.

I see the same ignorance and intolerance in the face of Diane as I saw in my hometown’s local hate monger (Lon Mabon), and I feel the same frustration that there is no way to get through to these types of people.

But most of all I see the love and support that CJ’s mom gives to her son. It’s that kind of unwavering love that you can only feel when a family member tells you they are gay. It’s what changes you from being just another straight person who thinks it is not your problem, to an activist. Because now it’s personal. It’s what makes you fight the insurmountable odds to try and open even just one mind to the idea that it’s okay to be gay.

As a child who was raised by a Lesbian I am proof that gays are not destroying the family unit. They are not exposing us to dangerous activities and they have no agenda. “What they call our agenda we call living our lives”, truer words were never spoken.

Thank you for this film, thank you to everybody who shared their stories in this movie and thanks for fighting the good fight. Maybe someday we won’t have to fight anymore…

This documentary warms my entire body. Being gay myself, growing up in a small town, I can Identify with CJ. Although I still haven’t come out but to my immediate family and close friends, I feel the urge to tell everybody I know. I cannot express to you how much this documentary has helped me, even in the last 2 hours that I watched it.

CJ’s story is one we hear too often, and at the same time, not enough. To know that there are people in this world that have the courage to do what CJ has done makes me beleive in the good of humanity whereas before I could only see the bad.