Free Post: Would I do it Over Again?

April 28, 2009 by Tyler

I’ve often asked myself that question. While I’m proud of my service to my country I’ve often wondered if in the end of everything if I’d just go back and do things differently knowing now what I know then. Would I have joined the military at seventeen and pretty much stopped trying in school? Would I have been a medic? Would I have changed relationships differently?

I’m not too sure. I often think of the possibilites I have now because of my time in service. There are a lot of benefits that set me ahead of my peers. Namely having money for college and being here KNOWING what I want to get out of it all. I often feel sorry for those around me who just aren’t sure. I sometimes wish I were only twenty two and not twenty six years old. I’d feel like less time was lost to something I wasn’t always happy to do. But would I have the focus? Probably not. I didn’t have it. Maybe it was that yearning I had in Iraq that taught me how to pay attention and not fall by the wayside. It keeps me focused on class work and doing my best. I wouldn’t have the patience with people I do now. But maybe I’d have learned something about people differently not having gone through the military. Some unforseen lesson I’ll never get to experience. I know combat has taught me the defenition of a REALLY bad situation. It calms me down when things are going crazy all around me. I just remember, “Hey, at least you’re not getting shot at!” But would I be ahead in life? Would I have travelled down a different path that would have led more directly to happiness?

But I guess I can’t go back and change any of that. My cards were played and this is what I have now. So I should make the best of what I have now and not try to think about things too much… again.